I picked this book up from the library the other day partly as a way to help absorb all the thoughts that have been running through my mind lately. Way too many thoughts to be exact - some that I'm surprised that I can even be thinking and some that make me feel completely inadequate that I feel I don't even know myself. And they're hard questions too: Can I love a child that's not mine biologically? What if they don't love me back? I hate feeling bad that I don't want to adopt a special needs child. Why do I feel like a racist because I don't think I could adopt from a country like Ethiopia?
It all sounds even worse when I write it down. And those are just a few things on my mind...
John kind of helped answer that first question - if I could love a child that wasn't mine. Well we're godparents to our best friend's kids and if something were to happen to them, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I could give them the love and home they deserve. So why not another child that we will bring home to love?
Anyhow, this book has been incredibly thought-provoking and at the same time comforting because I read on the pages my thoughts and feeling already written out for me. I'm definitely not the first person to ever adopt so I'm for sure not the first person to have the same questions or feelings.
Most of the book is technical in that it gives you a step-by-step look at the process of adoption. But something about reading this book has helped my head and my heart to calm down a little.
John is completely on board and while I have never been against adoption, I'm slowly working my way there to the point of actually beginning the process. Something John said actually; I think during this whole process there's going to be times of absolute uncertainty and being just plain nervous and scared...but it's the end result that I can picture and I feel that this is where God is taking us.
